When I don't blog for 2 months and no one says anything to me I know that I am talking to the air. It's a definite relief because talking to no one is far easier than having an audience.
If I had to choose a movie that characterized the last year of my life it would be "He's Just Not That Into You". This isn't meant to be a pity part for me, but rather a necessary reality check. You see, I tend to feel that I can make anyone feel the way that I want. This comes from years of manipulation, and a somewhat far fetched romantic story about a guy who didn't like a girl for months and then one day after 4-wheeling in the desert decided he loved that girl and they got married despite opposition and age gap. They got married and lived out their dreams in Texas and had 6 bright, brilliant children.
While driving with my Mother and sister last night we began discussing a certain male suitor who I've spent a portion of my 20's waiting on and the woman from that romantic story spoke up.
Cinderella: You never know, sometimes men aren't attracted to you for a long time and then they just flip a switch.
Sister: You're the exception
Cinderella: No, it happens.
Sister enters into an exhausting recap of Gennifer Goodwin's reality check in that epic scene where she has muffin in her hair and realizes that she is the rule, not the exception. That women who live in the world of thinking they are the exception, end up being disappointed at every turn.
Relationships aren't meant to WOW! or change the rules, they are meant to fulfill and procreate. Perhaps the "waiting" that is happening all around the world (of BYU) by young women who wish to not be overlooked, should actually be a proactive venture of setting your own standard, and when the time comes, sacrificing everything you have and jumping in head first with no hesitation or remembrance of the pain it took to get there.