Saturday, April 26, 2008

the only constant is change

i find myself become more and more detached as i grow old. among other things, i attribute this to the fact that for the last couple of years my life has been in transit. new people, new places, new mindsets, broken up in four month periods- fall, winter, summer. fall, winter, summer. i don't latch on because i know everything will change in a few short months.

helen keller said, “security is mostly a superstition. it does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”

security for me is attained when i have conquered something. when i feel as though i am in ultimate control; no one can fool me, and i have life figured out. right now, i am excited by the thought that i left the place i call home, to come to a place i once called home, a new city to conquer. or rather, an old city i've already conquered but need to reconquer. because the last time i was here i was different. and i had long hair.

it's possible i am scared and frustrated and want things to go back to normal. it's possible that i do this to myself. it's possible that i feel the need to disrupt an invariable life and make waves. perhaps i am just unsatisfied and bored.

OR perhaps i love change. i embrace change. i use this as an opportunity to learn and grow. i adapt and mature and face whatever lies in store.

either way i will get by.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

goodnight hollywood boulevard, goodnight

things i will miss:
  • Sitting at Del Taco in the middle of the night ordering nothing just broad-watching
  • getting a tear in my eye when driving by DT
  • 9-6 MWF
  • The smell of the JFSB
  • No Shhh.
  • Provo is the only place in the world where you can easily avoid being offered alcohol at a party
  • Driving past the Botanical Pond and seeing girls taking their bridals
  • my view of University Ave.
  • Pandos
  • Cami Thursdays
  • BYU Salt Lake Center
  • snowboarding- not like the actual act, but the fact that everyone gets so excited for "powder" or whatever it is
  • Snow in April
  • Yoasis
  • Rodney
  • Friday and Saturday nights 10 p.m. - 2 a.m.
  • School

Bye-bye Provologne

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

the day I realized I'm not as judgmental as I thought

while watching an episode of The Hills:

Lo: Audrina's crazy, I don't want her living with us
LC: Yeah, I mean she's a nice girl, but now that she's with Justin Bobby she'll be wearing leather again. Yuck.

(Audrina enters)

Lo: Audreeeeeeeena! Hey baby!
LC: We're talking about when our lease gets up
Lo: we should all TOTALLLLY get a house together
LC: OF COURSE. You just have to live with us.

Brian: OH MY GOSH. Cover your ears.
Me: I know, girls can be so caddy.
Brian: No, her! Her EARS!

Here I am thinking I can pick out flaws in anyone and I didn't even notice Lo's stacks! Chances are Elf and Laguna Beach started filming around the same time, giving Lo a tough decision to make. I'd have picked Laguna Beach too just for the opportunity to pretend to be besties with Lauren Conrad. I mean seriously, anyone with skin that flawless deserves to have a million fake best friends.

How to annoy me

Eat an apple in the bathroom.

The following are NOT bathroom noises:
More Sucking

Monday, April 21, 2008

How to annoy me

keep me up at night for no reason whatsoever.

Friday, April 18, 2008

homely.. i mean homey

I am hardly what one would call 'artsy'. I do, however, have a recessive (very recessive) creative gene (more like if I'm bored and if the temperature is just right, I might, in the right lighting, create something slightly resembling creative). My parents gave me most of their other qualities like the 'wakeboarding' gene, the 'loud' gene, the 'very opinionated, and willing to share' gene.. But, not so much of the 'let's make our house look like the inside of a Better homes magazine' (mom), or 'let's turn barn wood into picture frames and sell them for millions of dollars' (dad) gene. Basically, my parents are very creative. This morning I made ma mama proud (yay!). It all began when I was accessorizing for work. I went looking for the usual array of bangles to add to my attire. Bangles are like my quintessential accessory. I have every color and therefore they go with every outfit on any day. As an added bonus, they make noise so no matter where you go it's like a warning sound of "I'M COMING." Perf. Anyhow, I have this huge jewelery basket (rivals Rachel Ray's bread basket in size. We're talking vast, man.) Every time I look through this basket I find something new. I have jewelry to match every outfit, and lots of it... Or so I thought. My catastrophe this morning proved I am too confident in my jewelry. I could only find two of the brown bangles I wanted to wear. EVERYONE knows you can't just wear two bangles, three is the magic number. My options were to a.) stay home and watch movies all day, or b.) problem solve/ create a masterpiece. Regrettably, I chose b. I disentangled some earrings I had never worn and used the pointy part to hold the bangles in place. TA DA! Brown hoop earrings. HUGE brown hoop earrings that I got three compliments on and was able to say, "Oh these old things?" Perf.

Craftiness strikes again: for Rodney's birthday I wanted to give him a picture of us so that when it's summer and I'm in Texas and he's in Utah and he thinks to himself "what did I used to do on Friday/Saturday/ Sunday/ Monday (you get the picture) nights?" he will be able to look at a picture and remember his sister, 1200 miles away, who he used to hang out with all the time; So much, in fact, that people would always think we were dating and not be shy about telling us which would make Rodney so mad because he thought it scared girls and that is why they wouldn't come up and talk to him. The truth is that we live in Provo and girls don't go up and talk to guys, because that would just be too bold, instead we are bread to be old fashioned and wait for them to make all the moves. Psh. Well, anyways, Rodney's not a cutesy guy so the pictures and frame needed to be way nondescript and masculine. I found this turnable frame at Target that holds two pictures, and can be put on a guy's desk without all his roommates being like, "dude, that's gay." When printing the pictures I decided- just to be corny- that i should caption them. So what Rodney got was this simple but modern picture frame with two pictures of us, captions included: "When family.. turn into friends." Terrible, i know, but i couldn't resist. I apologize ahead of time for when your roommates are like, "dude, that's gay." At least now you can't forget about me!

These kind of projects make me want to be crafty more and more. I can't wait to have my own house someday and have decorating projects all the time. If I'm expected to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom I might as well make the most of my down time and have a kick-A house. I'll be like supermom, only my weapons will be an IKEA Credit Card and a Williams and Sonoma catalog. I will also clean up messes before they happen, learn how to sew on my husband's buttons and master 30-Minute-Meals, just to fulfill the stereotype. Oh, what a woman in Zion I will be then.

the center of the solar system

i love the sun. it's like, no matter how grumpy i wake up or how terrible my hair looks, if i go outside and i feel the sun, i automatically chill out. I don't have to save the world that day, because the sun is shining. I can skip through a park, because the sun is shining. My skin, which has been frozen for 5-and-a-half months, can defrost, (!) because the sun is shining.

The sun is shining today and I'm glad because it's friday and I don't usually feel like saving the world on Fridays. Maybe, just MAYBE, I can say "goodbye" to winter for good! Maybe I can bask in the sun everyday until my skin turns a beautiful shade of dark bronze and my mom starts making appointments for the dermatologist because "anyone this tan is going to get skin cancer" and "if [I] want to live past the age of 40 [I] better put on some sunscreen." Summer is the one time of the year everyone gets an excuse to be carefree. The days are longer, people are prettier, and (for some of us) school is out. So let's all just take a deep breath, put on some sun glasses, peel off a layer of clothing, and SMILE, because it's summer!