Tuesday, November 25, 2008

How to annoy me...

There's this part in Mean Girls where Queen Bee Regina George is obsessed with losing 3 pounds. She tries a variety of weight loss regimens that are proposterous and ineffective and always ends by saying "I really want to lose 3 pounds." We all laugh cause it's funny to watch someone be so unneccesarily centered around their weight loss. The curious thing about Mean Girls, and the reason it is so commonly loved is because of it's direct application to the female gender. Someday I will be in a Psychology class and I will opt to do a paper called "What We Learn About Ourselves From Mean Girls". That would require going back to school, so for now I will stick to the blog.

I decided that pet peeve # 345,789,001 of mine is the permadieters in my life. I am going to get heat for this and probably make people feel like idiots but it's on my mind. This isn't to say I don't understand. I've had my share of issues with the way my body was made and I don't know why I was lucky enough to grow out of this. The reality of the matter is that you won't be happy until you're content. And that means abandoning the stupid thoughts in your head. I won't tell y'all my secret but I will say that when you say the words, "I want to lose __ pounds", I won't be listening.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

thank goodness for YouTube

sitting in the Las Vegas airport with Joseph.

Joseph: Elyse, don't look now but it's Charlie. Like, you know, "Charlie Bit Me", Charlie? Right behind us.
Me: How do you know, Joseph?
Joseph: Cause his name is Charlie and his brother has an accent.

I turn around to look and see two very American boys squabbling on the chair behind us.

Me: That is not them.
Joseph: Yes it is.
Me: Okay, ask for their autographs.
Joseph: No.
Me: Well, they don't have accents.
Joseph: They sound like they COULD have had accents. People loose their accents. I'm TELLING YOU. IT'S CHARLIE!

By this point we were pretty loud and Charlie, the rambunctious 3 year-old turns around to see who's talking about him. I pointed to Joseph and said "Charlie bit him." I have never felt so inadequate in front of a 3 and 7 year old. They looked at us like we were special, therefore proving they were not who we had presumed. Classy, Dials, real classy.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Someday We'll Make Dreams Come True..

Last year, when I worked at the Law Firm, I had the opportunity to come in contact with many wealthy people on a daily basis. I saw people who used their money to buy great things and lead luxurious, yet unfulfilling, lives with cars and trips and houses. I also saw people who used their money to help people, whether it be their families, their community or the world. 

One day I met a couple who had made a lot of money in some business or another. It seemed they needed an outlet for their wealth and it was at this time that they devoted little time to the company and started a charity. I don't recall the details of the foundation they ran or if their family was involved, in fact, I remember little about this exchange except that the wife was one of those ladies you would judge as high maintenance just from looking at her; blonde hair, big boobs, the works, but once I learned more about them (via google) I found her endearing. It got me to start thinking about what I wanted to use my ambition for. I was raised knowing that I could do great things, due in large part to my parent's who do great things daily and due in part to my above ordinary vision of myself and my potential. 

Ever since my exchange with The Blonde and Her Man, I began dreaming about helping people in an entrepreneurial way, like a foundation. This dream will fulfill many of my dreams. It will fulfill my desire to serve, my desire to work, my desire to start something big from scratch, my desire to not be the bread winner for my family, my desire to not have spoiled children, and my desire to be on Oprah. I have tossed around hundred of ideas and most nights I pull out my iPhone and write ideas in my half asleep state (everything real comes out when I'm half asleep, as many people can attest to). I've thought about building schools in South America, India, Africa, or Mexico. I've thought about organizing a clothing donation for children in these countries. I've tossed around the idea of different scholarship foundations (thank you Choose To Give!). I think I've run myself half crazy knowing that I have so many things I could and want to do, all I need is the means. 

The reality is that who knows at what point in my life I will be able to not only not have to work, but will also be able to devote money to a cause like this. All I know right now is that I can't wait for this day, and I will continue to loose sleep over it because it's better than thinking about relationships, or school, or whatever else people my age lose sleep over.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

coats, boots, and other important things

Because I'm moving to Utah I've taken it upon myself to purchase hundreds of pairs of coats, boots, scarves, and gloves. Winter is always a reason to be extremely stylish because you have more chances to wear more clothes that exhibit your feeling, style, and mood and thus increase you chance of looking good. I will be taking every opportunity to look good. Currently I have a room that looks like it was hit by Hurricane Ike. And yet, I feel proud that come January I will pack up the boots and coats and take the snow by storm. Unintentional pun, not intended. 

Winter is also a reason to be extremely depressed, which is why this pre-winter preparation retail therapy seems to be helping cure the depression of knowing that I will be in the cold. Plus, I will have the sibs (minus the sane one, who must still go through high school, danget) and I will not work. I promised myself I wasn't going to work next semester. I tend to be a workaholic of sorts and in promising myself that I won't work it's like promising myself 4 months of 21-year-old-hood. 21 year-olds are not supposed to be workaholics, they are supposed to be alcoholics. Granted, I do not plan on taking up drinking, but I do plan on taking up napping, studying, watching Television again perhaps (!?) and trying to enjoy my education rather than speeding through it. I tend to go stir crazy without a job. Actually, I don't know how I act without a job considering the only time I haven't been employed in the past 6 years was Freshman year. If Freshman year is an indication of next semester can you can be prepared to hear about sleeping and partying. My guess? I'll have a job by February. But, maybe I will go and shock myself. 

Wait, wasn't I talking about boots and coats? Anyhow

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a typical mother/daughter exchange for us

-Did that man just buy you a smoothie?


-And you just stood there and talked to him so he would buy you a 


-So you basically just whored yourself. For Food.

Mom, it's a really good smoothie.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Elyse The Betrothed

The other day, over dinner, my mother explained to me, my little brother, and Eli that the reason I shouldn't be so adverse to marriage is because my "eggs expire". Apparently, since I am not a man I don't have time to wait like they do. Well, I thought about this, and for a brief moment, we're talking a miniscule glimpse in time, I pictured my life as Elyse The Betrothed. It started in my black and white IKEA kitchen, you know, the one you see on that commercial. I had all these great accessories from Pottery Barn and Williams and Sonoma and an apron to match. I imagined a day without deadlines, except when the timer goes off telling me that the dinner I've been carefully cooking is ready. Time to set the table now. But, at my leisure because dinnertime is on my watch. And no one says when dinner is ready except me. Because I am the boss of the kitchen. And the next day, say, I'd like to sleep until 10 a.m., I can. Because the bacon is going to brought home whether or not I wake up early. And I will have a husband (on an outside note, the actual word sends shivers down my spine and makes me want to hit all men upside the head, but I will continue) who will come home and ask me how my day was and I will recount to him the baking and television watching and laundry folding and the running. OH THERE WILL BE RUNNING. Whenever I want. I won't have to squeeze a run in before my shower in the morning. I could run in the middle of the day, like when I was sixteen and had no responsibilities and I ran in the middle of the day. And it was great. I will also tell him about all the great shopping I did with HIS money. See that? Not my money. No dents on my bank account. I will be like, "Oh, honey, by the way, that charge on the Nordstrom card needs to be paid if you wouldn't mind." And, he won't mind. Because I cooked dinner! And that's what he needed from me. Well, that and something else, which I will do willingly. As long as he pays for my shopping! 

That is about where my stream of consciousness stopped. And I caught my breathe, chilled out, and realized that I had complete control over this and that I didn't have to have that lifestyle. Although, if my mom has her way I will, which is why I can't stay at Martin's Cove forever. Because, little 5 second visions like this one can only be attributed to one influence and that is Mamma Dial. 

Monday, November 3, 2008

be heard, man.

Movies I could watch over and over
the way we were
the little mermaid

Clothes I could wear over and over
dark wash "A" Pockets
black turtle neck
the grey boots
the black cowboy boots

Activities that never get old
waking up early
making out
laying in bed
eating sushi
anything involving my mother, my father, and their mothers

people who undeniably have my best interest at heart
alanis morissette
cecil o. samuelson

purses i will buy when the time is right