Tuesday, November 29, 2011

things my friends know about me

1. when signing my name, I still dot the 'i' with a heart

2. i. hate. spoons.

3. if you ask one of my siblings who the most annoying person they know is, they will say, in unison, Elyse Dial.

4. the first 90 minutes I'm awake in the day, I am chatty and excited and joyful. After those 90 minutes, my mood is a high stakes game of Roulette.

5. my kryptonites are tall men and expensive jewerly. Even better, Tall men delivering Expensive jewerly

you know you love me, xoxo

Friday, November 18, 2011

my funny life

There's a comedy club my family and I are obsessed with. It's called Comedy Sportz. There's one in Provo and one in Chicago and it seems like every time my family is together in one of those places we go see a show.

Last weekend I took some friends there who had never been. For one of the skits, they asked for an iPhone. The actors scrolled through text messages and used the texts as their dialogue. I am WAY too private about my phone to hand it over to be broadcast, but ever since then anytime I get a text message that, out of context, would make for some laughs, I laugh to myself. Some examples.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

An Observation

The list of things my sisters won't be allowed to do at my wedding is lengthy. I've just added two things:

1. Sing
2. Allude to ex boyfriends

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Watch out SUN, it's my turn to shine

Been listening to some Beyonce lately. There's a line in her song that makes me laugh because it is so outrageous; "If you leave me you're out of your mind". It also makes me laugh. Here's why:

Shortly after my 21st birthday I was in love with a beautiful man who decided that he could not continue with the plans we made. Three days after the break-up, when I was stable enough to tell my family and friends, I was driving on the freeway listening to Not As We by Alanis Morrissette and my dad called. I reluctantly answered the call hoping he was butt dialing.

"Hey, daddy!" (must...... not...... admit...... weakness......)
"Hey, babe. Your mom told me what happened. How are you?"
"I'm fine."
"Well I used to think he was a smart guy but clearly he's out of his mind."

Dad, if you're helping Beyonce write music now, I'd like a song about me.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Have i said too much?

at least twice a week when i am wrapping up a conversation i say, "sorry, that was an over share." not cute.

Shopping at Ikea and Forever 21 stresses me out. So many options. I would rather go to Neimans or Z Gallerie but unfortunately my time is not valuable enough to justify those stores.

if i know people's secrets, it makes it a lot easier for me to forgive them of their follies.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Couple That Doesn't Go On Ellen Together, Stays Together

I'm a fan of the Kardashian family. On a scale of 1 to #TeamKUWTK I am normally a 4. So, when I heard the news of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries breaking up yesterday and I felt the need to scream, there was a problem. When I walked around the office and shared the news with my new coworkers who previously respected me, there was a problem. I turned into a crazy #TeamKUWTK fan for a second.

..And therein lies the problems associated with cultivating relationships with what I would consider fictional characters.

Now that I have calmed down, my fundamental issue lies in the fact that I believe in marriage. I believe it to be the "ideal pattern for human living". I believe that a person should marry once and make decisions with the sole purpose of maintaining that relationship.

I believe that influential people should take this charge even more fervently. Older siblings, parents, mentors, athletes, celebrities- anyone who has someone watching need to take this very seriously. The greater your sphere of influence, the better decisions you must make.

Kim and Kris- You've let me down.