Thursday, February 24, 2011

Cry For Attention

My blog stats are down 35%. Am I boring you? Time to cause some trouble and write about it...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Just Thinking

Thinking about the girl that I used to be at 17. She was so niave. She was so friendly. She was so happy. She was so busy planning parties and making friends. I'm imvisioning that if you would have stopped her after 3rd period calculus where she just aced an exam headed to say hello to her friends while texting her boyfriend, it would go a little something like this.

Excuse me miss I’d like to tell you about your life in 6 years. She’d plop her cute little butt down in front of you and compliment your hair-do while waiting for you to speak. She might make a sassy comment and then laugh it off and flip her hair to cover up the second glance she just exchanged with a tall brunette..

And then you would tell her all the painful truths, and all the sweet joys and I think she would ask to stay young forever.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

And I Think To Myself...

What a wonderful world.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

What Better Time To Blog Than When I'm Sick, Stressed, And Being Pulled In Every Direction

Mood: Sarcastic, and not very creative.

In August I decided to become a master chef. August is when it started and August is when it ended. I made a delicious dish in which had to take a piece of completely edible raw chicken, took a meat tenderizer mallet and pounded it down. Took it from normal to grotesque with each pound. I almost gave up the dish, in fact, because the chicken was so disgusting. Because of my amateur cooking knowledge, I continued to follow the recipe. Next I took the flat animal and dipped it in basil and flour and egg whites and cooked it on 450 degrees for 35 minutes. I was having boys over for dinner so I was very concerned about my dish. I kept an eye on the oven for the entire 30 minutes and miraculously the end result was an amazingly flavorful, perfectly textured, delicious meal.

As I was speaking with a friend yesterday I kept seeing the meat tenderizer mallet and I felt like that chicken. I was the cook and the meal. I was being pounded and prodded and pulled in every direction until I appeared completely unnecessary. I have yet to reach the part where I douse myself in flower and basil and cook until perfection. But I am looking forward to when the timer in this part of my life goes off and I begin to enjoy the final product.

Matt 6:34

Thursday, February 10, 2011

February in Texas reminds me of being 16.
It sounds like Goodies- by Ciara and Konstantine by Something Corporate
It feels like a hairdo turned down by 60% humidity
It smells like the stage right before rain
It lives for sunny Saturdays and Cloudy Sundays
It craves love and warmth and spring
It looks like ear to ear grins

One More Night

This is a day I would say, "Diddy, let's go to dinner." he would suggest some strange and oddly delicious restaurant and we would talk shop, Mexico, and dating. I would laugh at his jokes and puns he didn't know were funny. He would tell some stories from when he worked in Corporate America. He would ask about yoga. He would express how proud he is. He would make sure I'm living my life right. He would suggest things for me to do with my calling. He would pick up the bill and silence his phone. He would get irritated at me for texting. He would ask how many kids I could have and still keep my job. We would talk about how much we will wakeboard this summer. He would want to plan a trip to Utah to visit Kyria and go snowboarding. He would turn off the radio and just listen to me as I expressed my emotions about my current situation. He would say, "Babe, why do you worry? Work hard. Make the right choices. Pray. Everything will work out." I would cry because I love him so much. I would ask if we could get yogurt because I didn't want it to end. Dessert would be straight laughs and light hearted conversation. I'd listen to the same stories I'd heard a million times about him courting my mom and love them just the same. I'd go home and take it for granted like he'd always be there to buy dinner and make laugh.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


We've been in exactly two fights. One was about pizza, the other about the dumbest game on earth called Monopoly Deal. I, of course, started both of them. What both fight boiled down to..... I Miss You (Didnt even need therapy to figure that one out.)

Meet Kyria. The girl who's stilletoes I am not worthy to shine. She is rambunctious, beloved, determined, hilarious, and sassy. Our friendship began in high school when she proved to be good enough company to bring around my friends. Then again in college when we lived together and she was forced to grow up too fast and learn what emotions look like. People LOVE her. I repeat, people LOVE her. Kids love her, adults love her, grown men, young boys, people I am trying to date.. Everyone loves Kyria. I have never met a person who meant her and said, "ew".

She loves horses and chocolate desserts and repetition and exercise and spicy sushi. She used to sleep in a 3 foot space by choice. She sees the world as she should, real and flawed but beautiful. She's vulnerable and not easily persuaded. She smells like Japanese Cherry Blossoms. I envy the man who she will take care of tenderly and the children who get to be hers.

Sunday, February 6, 2011


Dear Complexion- thank you for acting your age, not Lebron James' shoe size.

Dear Henri- Stop whining.

Dear Tax Return- I cannot wait to introduce you to Coco Chanel and Christian Louboutin. I think you will be great friends.

Dear Warm Weather- please never leave me.

Dear Dad- I love you.

Dear Mother-Nature-In-Charge-Of-Utah- please send a blizzard that will force everyone to move south.

Dear Right Knee- you're too young to start feeling like this. I need you to hang in there for me a couple more years.

Xoxo, EMD

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Lessons I Learned This Week

Don't mix your happy meds with Diet Coke.

Tell people your secrets. It solidifies them and connects you to the world.

23 degrees is too cold. 23 years is too few.

Strangers are often more understanding than friends.

Friends are better than anything.

Snow is magical in Utah. In Texas it causes havoc and people buy a lot of bread.


Meet Jennifer. Also known as Jenna, or Mom because she hates when call her by her first name.

Last week I had a conversation with her that left me laughing long enough to tweet and write this post. We were speaking of a certain new suitor who she scoped out in my ward and then dared me to marry. I took the challenge, of course. Kyria spilled that I was with him one night and she called me the next day and said, "You know the feeling when you walk into Target and your heart skips a beat? That's the feeling I kept having knowing you were in the same room as him."

I laughed for a good 45 seconds. I do feel a bit like Regina George in Mean Girls as her mother professes, "I'm a cool mom." The only difference is that she is so young as far as young adult mothers go, that she really can hang with the girls.

She is smart, talented, motivated and grounded. She thinks with her heart and therefore offers a counter perspective to my tactful decision making. She sleeps in the most comfortable bed known to mankind. She loves having us around but craves solitude and relaxation.

I inherited from her my height, my motivation, my ability to see things how they really are, my love for my father, and my anxiety. She is funny, outgoing, and beloved by all. She likes dramatic television, talk shows, and big city travels. I will never forget the one time in college we met in New York City for the weekend and shopped and saw a million shows and ate delicious food and laughed.

She is who's approval I seek. She is who I pray for. She is who I wish to see as often as possible.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Dating used to mean fun, flirty, buy new jeans, wake up with text messages, smelling lovely and accepting daily compliments.

Now dating means explaining why I work so much and the pill bottles that I don't hide well and the standing Tuesday appointment and why yoga is a mandatory activity. If it weren't for my charming sense of humor and pretty hair I would be a lost cause.

(As I click "Publish" I am counting the seconds until my mother texts me and says, "YOU KNOW PEOPLE READ YOUR BLOG, RIGHT!?!")