a note to my sisters, my daughters, and myself

Yesterday I was discussing "The List" with one of my coworkers. You know, "The List" that every woman has in her mind (the more vigilant ones have it in writing) that says what they will not put up with. On hers, "chewers of green gum". A little cray, but you know what- more power to you woman. If you want to create non- negotiables, go ahead, and be picky: Don't settle.

I find myself craving, and, more often than not, achieving, solitude. So many times I fight the feeling "I just want to be alone" because I've made committments like being a good friend or being a star employee. It used to be a scary feeling for me because I would think 'will i ever NOT want to be alone' which leads to thoughts of 'will I always be alone?' and 'will I ever get married?'. Not rational except for the fact that most of my relationships had been laced with a variable loss of self awareness and personal security, so you can't blame me. Until, one time I was with a man and I experienced the feeling of not wanting to be alone, I wanted to be with him. The empowerment, the peace, and the self confidence I felt while I was alone was still there when he was around, so that even in our demise i gained something from him that I cherish as an invaluable lesson; Don't settle.

Also, I like to travel. I like to eat 3 bites of an expensive meal. I like my rap loud and meaninful- unless my mood changes; then I like it slow and romantic. I like to go to bed late and wake up early. I like to wear 5 inch heels to the park. I like to sit and listen to the wind. I like to do everything that I like to do at the moment I want to do it : Dont settle.