Sunday, November 7, 2010


If the purpose of reading my blog is to stay updated and have a little laugh while maintaining the illusion that my life is perfect fairy tale with charming men and weekly shopping sprees, go ahead and go back to your facebook stalking. It's time to get real.

Pain is an interesting frame of mind. It rears it's ugly head in the most unfortunate of times. It takes everything it can from you. It intensifies every emotion. Pain makes it so a broken nail feels like a broken heart and a broken heart feels like an amputation. It is disabling. It moves in and abducts regular sleep and normalcy and makes a fake smile difficult to construct.

Joy, on the other hand, comes exactly when it is supposed to. Surprising, sometimes, to feel joy with pain. Like turning on a light in a dark room, the darkness has no choice but to evacuate.

I know exactly the source of my joy; spending time with my family and other people I love, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, knowing that someone wiser than me cares about me, my great job, seeing my friends happy, and the fact that the sun sets over Town Lake every evening at the same time right when I need something consistent.

At the same time, I know the source of my pain. And the control I used to maintain in life has been taken with so many other things leaving me wandering around in the dark frantically searching for a switch that will let the light in.