Sunday, November 28, 2010

I couldn't think of a clever way to discuss the political turmoil associated with secret political documents being leaked on the Internet, so...

As a way to pay homage to my recent travels this year, and to announce my moratorium from
all things airport related, I have compiled a list of observations or experiences I find telling. Ahem..

  • Which security line you choose is the most important decision you will make ALL WEEK. This decision not only depends on how many people are in line, you must also judge each person by their perceived speed of getting undressed and re-dressed in line.
  • Although I prefer, and live and breathe off of, direct flights, if I must layover I make this decision based off known restaurants in the layover choices. An airport with a Chilis Too (Phoenix, O'hare, or DFW) receive an 'A', airports with a Cinnabon or Paradise Bakery (Salt Lake, Atlanta) are also good options. In March I had the privilege of spending 2 hours in the Charlotte, North Carolina airport and they had rocking chairs and trees in Terminal 2 simulating the quintessential southern comfort. I suggest everyone layover there.
  • More choices: At the security check point I always choose a counter with a female TSA agent. They are quick and don't talk much. Any issues at the ticket counter, I will choose a man. The whole, flash em and get bumped to first class does not work, but they hate their jobs less than women do.
  • I feel anxiety no matter what is in my bag. I travel with no liquids, drugs, or aerosol cans, but for some reason I feel like an X-ray machine can see through my soul. "Excuse me ma'am we are going to need to confiscate your iPad, seems like it's been tampered with by liquid holding terrorists".

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