At dinner the other night my friend overheard a comment I made in passing to Carly and repeated it loud.
"What?! You don't believe you can be in love?"
Out of context, albeit, we began a conversation that has been on my mind for a couple of weeks. The premise of that conversation being that when you are supremely out of love, it is hard to remember what it feels like to be on the opposite side of the spectrum.
"Elyse, I've SEEN you in love. I know you know you can fall in love," he continues.
Yes. Yes. I remember the feelings, but it's just so different every time.
The problem is I've only ever felt selflessly in love once. And it was dangerous and unrequited, so I can not picture the type of relationship that I dream about. I can't picture what I will do or say or what he will want, because it's a stranger to me. In a way, I am happy about this. If I had the kind of relationship I truly want and then lost it, that would be the ultimate tragedy.