I've thought of a million good stories that would result in this tragedy. I dropped it from the 28th floor, someone dropped a dumbbell on it, there was a giant woodpecker that came in my bedroom and attacked it, I was talking on it and it just started cracking, I meant to reach for a hammer and accidentally grabbed my phone, etc. Because "I woke up and it was like that", is such a lame story. Then again, the truth is usually pretty lame. On the bright side, this phone lasted 1 month longer than my last one which I accidentally dropped in the toilet. This is progress.