Wednesday, August 27, 2008

let us die young or let us live forever

Weird day today. Mostly because I woke up thinking I was going to be moving to Utah in three weeks, and will go to bed knowing differently. Also, because tomorrow I'm going to wake up at 6 a.m. That in and of itself is quite strange, but the real shocker is that I will be teaching a group of teenagers whose main motive, if I remember high school well enough, and I'd like to think that I do, is to talk to all the hot boys and girls IMMEDIATELY because maybe, just maybe he is your soul mate. For 50 minutes I will attempt, in any way possible, to get them to not talk to their neighbors, not pass notes, not text in class and to maybe listen to me and feel the Spirit. I might resort to getting on my hands and knees with lots and lots of candy begging, if that's what it takes. I would like to not have to do that because I don't pay money for clothes so I can ruin them.

As I've gotten older, I've learned to hate teenagers. Mostly because I was such a selfish teenager that living 6 years with myself was more than enough. I also remember how confused and subsequently euphoric I was in that phase of life. Part of me wishes someone would have hit me upside the head and explained to me what real life was like (actually I suppose He tried, but I was too selfish, confused, and euphoric to listen). The whole 'ignorance is bliss' mentality got pretty old as soon as I got pretty old and realized that people don't stop the bus when you're running late, you can't bat your eyelashes and get what you want (okay that's not true), you can't romanticise those relationships that deep down you know won't see it a day past Sunday, and you can't expect to have the same best friends forever. My stark realization that reality bites came sometime around winter 2005, and then again in winter 2006, oh and in late winter 2008 as well. Probably all that dang snow. Having lived through this horrible, reoccurring, white-blanket covered transition makes me want to share it with everyone I meet. I fear, however, that if I started walking up to teenagers in the street saying "SOMEDAY ALL THAT CHOCOLATE YOU ARE EATING IS GOING TO SHOW UP IN PLACES YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HAD FAT GLANDS AND PROBABLY WITHIN THE SAME MONTH YOUR PARENTS WILL NO LONGER GIVE YOU MONEY!!" people might not want to walk around with me anymore. So instead I have become one of those adults that pretends to enjoy the responsibility.

Which is why, tomorrow, when I stand in front of those pimple faced teens I will recount my good experiences from those years and spend 50 minutes encouraging them to work a little harder and do a little better because it only goes downhill from here.

1 comment:

Taylor said...

ahahaha Elyse, I miss high school with you.