Monday, January 17, 2011

That Day: Part Two

All it took was the look on my Mom's face. I had never seen this fake of a smile on her. Then I looked at Joseph, I had never seen him emotional like that. I looked at Luke, he was hanging onto my mom like he might lose her, too. I couldn't look Nikka in the eye. I scanned the small group of men overlooking and our good friends. Everyone believed it. If you're in a room where everyone knows a secret, but won't say it out loud., does that mean it's not true? These are people I trust with my life. I wanted to not believe them, but slowly the reality hit. My breath escaped me. All of a sudden the most simple task of sitting down and taking in Oxygen caused me extreme pain. So much pain. My feet still hurt. I think I was getting blisters. Does Kyria know? She won't be able to breath. She has asthma. She needs to breath. "SOMEONE TELL KYRIA TO BREATH!" They say she doesn't know yet. Don't tell her. Please don't tell her.

Then I'm outside. My voice has escaped me. I'm shouting. Making noises that I can't make out. I feel 20 people watching me. I can't stop. I'm yelling. Kicking the air. My phone keeps ringing. I throw it on the ground. Nikka comes out with a bag. She tells me to breath. I forgot how. I feel it all over.

The only thing I remembered how to do in that moment was to pray. I tried to pray aloud but I was still screaming. So as my voice is running my heart is petitioning. I couldn't pray for myself, I didn't have that kind of faith yet. I prayed for my mom. I prayed for my brothers. I prayed that Kyria would breathe. I made a promise to not blame God. They said it was time to come back inside. I did what I was told. I held my family. Everyone hurt so bad. We felt it all together and in every inch of my body. I decided to breathe again.

1 comment:

Kristen Duke Photography said...

love you girl. so glad you wrote all this out. for yourself, and it does help others, too.