She is not alone. Everyone is pretending they want to be here. Everyone says it's the best time of their life. Everyone looks her in the eye and fakes a smile and asks how her day is. Everyone is really dreaming of the same thing she is. Everyone is lying.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
She is what happens to people when they stay in the same place for too long. Her eyes are tired. She is sick of answering the same questions. This place gets to you if you don't leave it. She's trapped doing the same thing. Every September and January she sits and listens to professors say the same thing and tries to laugh as they take themselves too seriously. Her glazed over eyes scream something deeper than boredom. At any point she might start yelling and run from the room. She will escape. She will get out of here if it kills her. Why did she come? All the reasons have escaped her. I remember first meeting her, freshman year. She had so much energy and zest for life. She was motivated and excited and scared because of the novelty of the place. That energy is gone. She's not present in conversations. Her mental capacity is limited to anything beyond thoughts of a different place, a better time. A time where she is not stuck. A time where she lives in a house that she owns. A time when college is a memory. A time when the only kind of tests she will encounter are the ones that tell you if you're expecting. She will sleep 8 hours and go to a job she loves and wearing an apron when she comes home.