eeny meeny miney mo, pick a President by the toe.

It's that time again, and boy am I ready. Because, really? does arguing over something change people's opinion? Are we all lacking a backbone so much that we half heartedly listen to CNN and then blurt out whatever we heard Wolf Blitzer say last night just so we can sound interesting and educated to our friends? Really? There comes a point where everyone needs to decide for themselves what matters to them. There comes a point when this electionitis needs to be cured and we need to face our fate as Americans. Oh, but it will never end. Because what's next? Whoever is elected is bound to screw something up, and then the radicals will blame it on the democracy or demand that popular vote was not followed and then we'll have another JFK incident and then we will self destruct as a world power. You can quote me on that, because I'd love to be given credit for jinxing the optimism of the American people. 

A few brief anecdotes I've been saving for y'all;

Me: Joseph, who are you voting for?

Joseph: I can't vote.

Me: Well, if you could...?

Luke chimes in: OBAMA!

Joseph: Doesn't matter to me.

Luke chimed in again: OBAMA!!!

Me: Joseph, what about the economy? The recession? 

Joseph: I am not the person to talk to about this.

Luke: OBAMA!!!!

Me: What about the war?

Joseph: I am REALLY not the person to talk to about this.

Luke: Nicktoons said everyone's voting for OBAMA!!!!!

and another

A couple weeks ago, I went down to meet the parents of a certain friend of mine who happens to be a boy and who meeting his parents happens to be a kind of big deal (sorry, i'm not big into details. or titles). They, with the rest of Texas (minus Austin) are (understandably) conservative. Ultra conservative. Would probably move out of the country to protest liberals, conservative. Wonder why people have agency on the matter, conservative. Would like to have as many guns in their house as they want and don't care who knows it GOSHDARNET!, conservative. I usually avoid political talks with these sort of people, not because I don't agree with them, but because I follow a strict "live and let live" policy. Meaning I don't care what you want to do. Some call it apathy, I call it saving myself from many awkward moments, like this one.

Father of the house was telling some joke about black people, and he turns to me to apologize if he offended me or anything. I shrugged it off because, again, live and let live. His son turns to him and says, "Oh, don't worry Dad, she likes black people. In fact, she's voting for one." Screeeeeeech. All of a sudden, all of these judging conservative eyes were ON ME. I felt my instinctive Gilmore Girls voice coming on in which I would say a million unrelated things at a speed faster than lightning in an attempt to undo the previous comment. I resisted the urge, and dug deep down inside for my ability to shut the heck up. Due, in part, to my silence I think everyone just assumed it was a joke so they wouldn't have to get up on their soap boxes about GUNS and EDUCATION and the need for WAR. But, really, they hated my guts and wondered why I was allowed to step on the property. Great first impression, I know.

And lastly:

Kyria: Did you vote?

Me: No, I don't believe in early voting

Kyria: I didn't register, so I can't vote. Who are you voting for?

Me: I haven't decided (obviously lying)

Kyria: Well, if I could vote, I would vote for Obama. Heaven knows we need more niggas in the white house.

Me: KYRIA!

Kyria: what? it's true.